An important part of my work as an artist in theatre festivals that put value on our art. As a competitor I love this aspect. I, in all honesty, want to win. I cannot speak for everyone, but I think it’s safe to say, regardless of our specific personality type, it does our hearts good to know that we are the “best.” That being said, as an artist, so much of our worth is wrapped up in how our work/art is perceived by those receiving it. And at a theatre festival that is designed to reward work well received, it stings when those awards go elsewhere. This requires me to stop and assess what is most important: Growth.

What happens when you stop growing?

At the beginning of every school year I ask my students, “What happens when you stop growing?” There are always chimes of “You shrink!” or “Nothing?” or “Ummmm….?” After letting them wrestle with this for a while, I add, “Think of growth as change. That change can be on any level (spiritual, physical, educational, personal…). The responses start to change and inevitably there is one voice that matter-of-factly states, “You die.” At this moment every other student in the class who has not reached this conclusion responds with “WHOA.” This then leads to a discussion of what growth is and how the process of change is necessary for us to reach new goals and discoveries. From day one I am transparent with my students about the journey we will all be taking together and that our ultimate goal, in all things we do, is growth.

So, that brings me back to the elation and disappointment of theatre festivals.

Theatre festivals present an incredible opportunity for students that moves beyond a one weekend performance run. Festivals give students (and their directors) the chance to perform their work for their peers. Where else can you guarantee a full house of an theatre obsessed audience? The audience at theatre festivals wants everyone to succeed and they reward hard work with their attention and unbridled appreciation. The energy in the house is palpable; theatre students are hungry for honest performances. One of the most rewarding experiences for those students is to be able to feel the audience’s support for the story being told from the stage. When we board the bus after our performance the students are electrified from the adrenaline of performing for a full house of their peers. They are inundated with the positive responses from other students at the festival. This opportunity gives them a confidence that they don’t receive from performances at their own school. Our audiences are always responsive and give positive feedback, but to get that kind of approval from theatre kids, that they don’t already know, is an overwhelming experience.

Three people’s opinions on any given day

Because theatre festivals are often adjudicated events, students (and their directors) have to be prepared for the feedback of three individuals on a given day. There is often a collective consciousness among the judges and they are often on the same page in terms of the feedback given to the individual performances. Students and directors are vulnerable to these opinions and must choose what to do with this information. I often find myself poring over these notes over and over again to glean important tips for improvement. I have found myself, however, on the receiving end of rather harsh criticism of specific choices I made that the adjudicators disagree with. There are few things more devastating than to see my students crushed as a result of specific feedback when they were doing EXACTLY what I asked of them. This process is a learning experience for all of us and while I try to incorporate most of the feedback we receive, there are times that I make a conscious decision to disregard certain suggestions or comments. This is not a conclusion I come to lightly, but I choose to stay true to my vision and if the feedback we receive is in conflict with that, I simply move past it.

Three things I ask of you.

I ask three things of my students in every production: 1) Trust the process; 2) Tell the story with honesty; 3) Be kind (to and about everyone, including yourself). I truly believe that if we do these three things, we will all learn and grow from the experience and be stronger people as a result.

Trust the process.

Many times I can see the potential of a production from day one. And then, more often than not, there is a point that everything I had planned seems off kilter and there’s nothing that can happen that will make it all make sense. And then, it does. And then, after a series of challenges I question every life choice that has brought me to this point. And then, the clouds part and students rise to the challenge and the beauty of the story begins to shine through. It is this process that makes doing this impossibly difficult job all worth it. I remind my students constantly that if they trust in the process they will understand the purpose of everything in the end. I have to remind myself of this as well. I think I require more reminding than my students sometimes.

Tell the story with honesty.

Every story deserves to be told, and I believe wholeheartedly that when we respect these characters as if they are real people, and tell the story without reservation we are breathing life characters real or fictional that otherwise would have lain dormant. It is our responsibility to share their triumphs and tribulations in the time we are given. We are tasked with research, commitment, and listening so that the story we are telling is indeed the one that was intended.

Kindness belongs to everyone, including ourselves.

It is so easy through a production process to allow yourself to take frustrations out on those closest to us. I have to remind myself to pause and take a step back when I am most stressed. I have learned the hard way that when I do not stay actively focused on the people around me and how we all work together to make something beautiful, it is very easy to make those involved feel unvalued. Through our process, we must remain outwardly thankful for what everyone brings to the table, even when we don’t see eye to eye. Having said that, the hardest person to be kind to is most often our self. The vampires of self-doubt manifest themselves in many different forms and can wreak havoc in the most unexpected ways. It is when the vampires scream the loudest that we have to take a hold of them and push them out and remind ourselves that our art is bigger than all of the doubt inside of us.

My favorite question (no sarcasm detected here) after a show closes is: “Now that your show is done, what are you going to do with all your free time?” I always smile and reply, “Free time, what is this free time you speak of?” That is followed by a mutual chuckle and I go on my way to complete the next set of tasks on my ever growing to-do list.

It is common knowledge that a teacher’s job extends well beyond normal school hours and is not confined to weekdays or even the 9 months considered the typical school year. And, no one would argue that a theatre teacher’s job reaches even further past the normal teacher’s already extended boundaries. The typical theatre teacher doesn’t have only one job. Theatre teachers notoriously are responsible for multiple, if not all, facets of the day-to-day activities of their department. In fact, I often say that I would gladly take any three of my twelve jobs if that’s all I had to do.

To add to the already hectic theatre teacher schedule, there comes the added “responsibility” of attending other theatre performances, being involved in professional theatre organizations, volunteering with local theatres, and mentoring and/or coaching budding actors for upcoming auditions, and, for the truly ambitious teacher, becoming a graduate student.

For me, graduate school has been in my sights for at least eight years. I knew what I wanted, an affordable, low residency MFA program, but struggled to find it. About 7 or 8 years ago, the then Chair of Mississippi University for Women (accepting men since 1982), Peppy Biddy, began working on building a Master Degree in Theatre Education. However, through a series of closed doors, the degree was tabled for several years. Then, about 3 years ago, all of the stars aligned and this magical program was back in discussion, for real this time. In July 2019, the degree was live and my application was submitted! I received my letter of admission and I was officially one of the five in the first cohort of this history making degree program!

It is now Thanksgiving week and we are approaching the end of the first semester. Graduate school has been a challenge on many levels, the biggest of which is the fact that I’ve added two more major “to-dos” to my already impossible list. I made the decision to only take two classes this first semester so that I could figure out the lay of the land and not bite off more than I could chew. This was a good decision. A third class would have been overly ambitious. The program is designed for three classes a semester, but as of right now, two classes works best for my schedule. I figure it’s better to take a little longer to finish the degree than it is to lose all semblance of my sanity right out of the gate.

Acting & Directing I is designed to expose the students to multiple acting and directing styles. Each style/method is accompanied by a book that focuses on the practitioner and his/her style. As a Theatre Major in college I studied Stanislavsky but have only had exposure to Sanford Meisner, Michael Chekhov, and Anne Bogart through professional development workshops and adult acting classes. This class has been an excellent opportunity to delve deeper into the styles of each of those practitioners. This class has pushed me to exercise time management and to determine the most important elements to include in a one-day lesson. I have been accustomed to creating unit plans that span several days, so creating a lesson plan for a single day has been a challenge for me, but has also taught me the art of culling.

One of my future goals, post retirement from secondary school teaching, is to teach theatre education on the college level. Creative Dramatics has been a perfect class to prepare for that goal. This class focuses on creating a theatre curriculum and running a theatre department. There is also a lot of importance placed on cross-curricular education. this course provided opportunities to evaluate my current practices within my department and reflect on how to improve those practices.

And that brings us back to all of my free time. As I wrap up this collection of thoughts, I am mentally making my to do list for tomorrow that will include many tasks to prepare for the super full DramaFest week. This holiday week has been a wonderful chance to catch up on neglected housework and much needed rest. As necessary as both of those things are, at the end of every break I am left reeling from the immense to-do list that looms before me. So, I guess the answer to “What will you do with all your free time?” is “Stress about all of the things I need to be doing and make new to-do lists.”

So, tune in next time for updates on all my free time!